FALSE RELATIONSHIPS (please read all carefully) by Fr. Stanley Obi

This week, I want us to look into false relationships as it concerns friendship

relationships. Firstly, we have to understand that every form of interaction is a relationship. We have friendship relationship as it deals on interaction between friends. Also, filial relationships as it involves interaction that exists among relatives - brothers, sisters, parents, cousins etc. We have other forms of relationships like business relationships, religious relationships and so many other as much as the area of concern is involved. In all these forms of relationships, there are false ones. It is good we look into false relationships in friendship relationship.

One of the rule of friendships is that it might begin by mere attraction not necessarily on the state of existence like beauty or being rich but also on character, religious affiliations and even in one's abilities. Friendship should progress from mere attraction to a real value. Real friendship can be built. True or real friendship has its qualities.
1. It is not promiscuous
2. It is sacrificial
3. It is aimed at higher value
4. It is known for its authentic love
5. It is established in peace and harmony.

We must be careful in all forms of relationships. As I said previously, it starts with attraction or simple acquaintances. This is normal relationship, which we normally called casual. Sometimes, in this form, it is just greetings. No strings attached. It can involve appreciation and jokes.
When it grows, there are higher disclosure of information about oneself to the other. At this point, it trancends greetings. It is now moving to more realities about urself. One tries to pay a little effort in other person, what she likes or not. She tries to love. But not all informations are to be given. Many things are hidden. Sex cannot be thought about. This is clearly what I called introductory phase. No emotions at that level, even though, emotions are seen little by little. God is to be made the center of this relationship. No visitation on close area since emotions are beginning to come. This stage might last long. At the end of this stage, both can decide or settle for marriage. At the thought of marriage, another stage of relationship comes Up- Dating or courtship.

As your introductory part of the relationship desires to enter into a more definitive one that is marriage, we enter another form- dating and courtship. In courtship, the two partners desire to know certain things about themselves. The knowledge of themselves is normally on those things that would help them enter into a valid marriage relationship. They also try to understand their behavioral compatibility. Be reminded still that, this form of relationship does not admit any sexual relationship. Caveat is to be noted that not every important information about yourself is to be given. Only important informations are those that would aid in valid celebration of marriage.
In such a relationship, the partners should know that they are not married yet. Love is developed at this level. Such love is not to be infatuation or carnal. It should be sacrificial. The duration of this period is from the time they desire to marry till after the wedding day. This means that traditional marriage or ikpota nwaanyị even though recognized as a marriage, but they are still under dating process. The confirmation of this consent is done by God on the wedding day.

On the wedding day, marriage is confirmed. Another form of relationship begins. It is good to remind you that this form of relationship is very much different from the other ones which we have talked about. Others are acquaintances, introductory relationship, courtship or dating. On the wedding day, not only that consents are given, God enters into the relationship. It is no longer an ordinary contract, it is now a covenant. It is not an ordinary relationship, it is a relationship which God is a witness.
Marri